stress

feel really stress now...
sometimes stress is given
sometimes stress is taken
stress can come stress can go...
the worse thing is when stress is given and stress is taken up by oneself together...
taken in the name of responsibility...
its like wad my dad say...
u want this u want that
in that way, what can u ever throw away?
when r u going to keep things until...
i still have this lame mentality that says grab on to this grab on to that...
finish this first, keep that first...
felt really stress by having that mentality...
i really want some rest
i want some silence...
i want peace...
i need God...thats all i need...

random tots... wat if i suddenly leave this world?
how would it be like in Heaven...
i would want to know more...
if i leave wad would i have to let go
Life its like rock climbing...
we always gotta let go and push
to go up...
if not we are always staying there with our hands full...
one day when we get tired
we let go...
SomeONE would catch us
and den we can rest...
really rest...
at least for some time...

really random...
was rushing draft boards today
Pris! Van!...
jia you wor!
stepped on Silas in sch today
Sorry Silas!
watched south parks today...
was really funny...
and Robert! dont get so horny easily!
hahas!
really random...

Reaching for You

I CAN'T BELIEVE THE WAY
YOUR LOVE HAS GOT A HOLD ON ME
EACH MORNING I WAKE TO FIND YOU NEAR
YOU LIFT ME ABOVE MY FEARS
AND SET MY FEET ON SOLID GROUND
ALL OF MY DAYS BELONG TO YOU

AND I BREATHE IN YOUR BREATH OF LIFE
THAT FILLS MY HEART
YOU ARE MY ALL CONSUMING FIRE

AND I STAND HERE BEFORE YOU
IN WIDE OPENED WONDER
AMAZED AT THE GLORY OF YOU
THE POWER OF HEAVEN
REVEALING YOUR PURPOSE IN ME
AS I'M REACHING FOR YOU

it just seems that...
i wont be able to have anyone to talk to on msn like him...
missing you...
God will take care of u ya?
u always say take cares...
now its my turn...
take care up there ya?
...

thinking through

since i last blog...
well... i had been quite tired and...
the things that i blog i have to be more careful...
the way things are going on in this world had been made smaller by internet...
heard from er jie that companies actually type ur name into the search engine to see what they can find... and ppl actually got fired due to careless blogging with verbal diarrea...
had been thinking of many many stuffs lately...
on one hand my course had been quite demanding...
on another hand i have things to plan...
on another hand i had some financial difficulty...
on another hand i have things at home...
and finally i have worries hogging at my heart...
yesterday i came upon this line:'the heaviest burden is to have nothing to carry'
wad can u say about it?
Les said he would totally disagree with it...
i tried finding ways to agree with it...
things like because we forgot our burden that's why it seems we have nothing to carry, but in actual fact that is having something to carry...
i was thinking wad about if the burden is a person... and when a person died, the burden is no longer there and yet it seems so heavy...
gosh... maybe i'm just sad now...
pardon me...
God i really need You now to pull me through the changes...
some things i have not really accept it yet...
why must so many of my friends take the early plane...
1st it was uncle fm my arents cell, then hanteck's mom, then Junie, then Bohan then now RouYang
God, bless them up there ya? =) i know you would.

Last Encounter

RouYang
the last time i saw him and chatted was b4 christmas...
the last time we chatted in the phone was when he went into the hospital...
the last time i saw him alive was when he was semi-conscious...
i still thought he looks better and would get well and all
how navie of me...
i thought that the doctors are always wrong... not this time...
in the after noon i went to see him with my mom...
she started praying for him...
that got me started too...
cause when i was there... i was thinking wad to say...
but sometimes silence is golden...
but when someone starts to pray, it would really get things going...
so i continue to pray too...
as i was doing so... i started to cry...
crying when u are suppose to be of comfort?
huang miao!
so i stopped my self... if i continue to pray, i would cry...
so i stopped.. i believe he can still see us with his eyes half open...
and i saw a tear coming out of his left eye...

Random...

Understand this: the only place the past can live, is in your memory. The
only power it has over you, is the power you give it. So the word for you
today is - '...forgetting those things which are behind and reaching
forth unto those things which are before.'
Wow!
i like reading fm the mails Lisa sent...
really encouraging!

gosh~ got a prob with my lang now...
was reading somebody's writting...
sry... i know its not nice to say this but...
its really irritating me...
with the 'and' like 'andd' and 'you' like 'euu'
can understand wad u meant Lynn and Dora...
i was like straining my eyes...
further more a decorative lining is used....
my eyes... hurt...
if my this post sounds weird its not my prob...

hmmm... really random today...
[kinda runs in the family ata times... hahas!]
today... today... okay! will talked abt today... =)
my grp's idea got knocked down again[hais...]
den he gave a 3 little pigs idea...
but my grp dun like...
other things in our minds that does sound that bad to all of us was...
the FUTURISTIC genre and the FAIRYTALE genre...
cant wait to get along with it...
all of us were fustrated after thinking...
lately i had been easily irritated...
pmsing i guess... [so dont mind me alright?]
and thank GOD that there's no Spaceship test...
and today's Intro was quite fun!
we made Jungle, with building in the middle... and throw in randomly many burgers...
and Van made buildings... den add many lightnings...
hahas... zhao fun!!!
hahahas!
sound kiddish but hey!... its fun alrights?
hahas... and that's our class for today...
no lecture...
zhao happy... this week very little classes...
guess the teachers need longer breaks too!
heehee... dont mind if they do...
as long as we have our nice marks too!
hey! i am a poet
and i dont know it!
[getting crapy, since i am hungry]
okays... going for a <nutricious diet> with my family
ciaoz!